It's a girl!


maebelle anne
maebelle anne 
born 09.25.15 @ 12:20 am

she was born swiftly and auspiciously still in her sac, or in the caul. folklore says that "caul bearers" are born with a gift; they are said to be seers, messengers, and healers. they possess a sensitivity and ability to understand people and the world on innate level. the legend is fascinating and i'm curious to discover whether or not these traits will emerge in our sweet little girl, but "gifted" or not, she's a gift to us and we are beyond the moon. 

preparing for birth


a boy and his mother at 36wks
things got very real at my 36 week visit yesterday when the midwife asked if i had already thought about a plan for if baby comes early. it's not uncommon for the second child to be born before their due date, so i didn't think much of her question and casually replied that yes, i know how to recognize early labor symptoms. but that's not what she meant. "no, have you discussed what to do if the baby comes before we get there?" ummm. i knew that labor can progress a lot faster with baby no. 2, but so fast that andy and i might have to go at it entirely alone? i had NOT thought about that.

the decision for a home birth came late in my first pregnancy and was (surprisingly) met with only a little resistance from andy. it hadn't occurred to me until the dozenth trip to the birthing center for my regular prenatal visits that those 45+ minutes in a car might be especially tedious once i was in labor. and when a tour of the birthing rooms at the center revealed that they weren't much different than my own bedroom, a home birth just seemed to make the most sense to me.

that is not to say that deciding to have a home birth was an easy choice to make. to be honest, i actually felt a bit self-conscious telling people about my decision, weary of the assumptions they might make. i feared that it put off an air of superiority or projected some sense of privilege (but that was just me projecting my own insecurities). the truth is that i've always had a holistic approach to living and a home birth seemed to fit so well in line with that philosophy. as it came to be, august's birth was a positive experience and so solidified that the next time, there would be no decision to be made. 

as i approach these final weeks of pregnancy, i am acutely aware that labor and birth is imminent and i would be lying if i didn't admit that i have anxiety about it. in moments of doubt and fear though, i find comfort in the memory of my previous birth experience. it was a long and laborous (ha!), but it was also one of the most empowering and enriching experiences. knowing that i will be in my own home environment, surrounded by the people and things that i love and that this baby will come to know and love, makes birth seem so much less intimidating. 

a bottle of wine and an impulse buy


heading home from work one friday night back in febraury, i stopped off to pick a bottle of wine to go with our customary end-of-week pizza. incidentally, i also picked up a pregnancy test that night. 

vino and a pregnancy test: a winning combination. 

i hurried home with my impulse purchase and the excited anticipation of what it might reveal. our timing was on point though and andy pulled in right at the same time with august in the seat next to him. i raced them both to the door shouting over my shoulder that i was in a rush to use the bathroom. once inside, i frantically tore at the packaging, all the while keeping one ear at the door and the isolated conversation between andy and august on the other side of it. time slowly passed as i listened to august's curiosity on my whereabouts interrupted by exclamations of discovery over some found toy he had abandoned in the middle of the room earlier that morning. when three minutes were finally up, i looked at the test to find one bold line and another line - less obvious, but undeniably present - parallel to it. 

i walked out of the bathroom barely able to contain myself. andy was around the corner in the kitchen and august was squatting over his buzz lightyear doll in the living room when he spotted me and through a wide smile gushed, "maamaaaa!" i beckoned him to come over, showing him the test stick to encourage his curiosity. when he finally ambled his way over i handed him the stick and whispered in his ear for him to take it to andy. a little confused, he slowly made his way in the direction of the kitchen while i watched and my heart pounded in my chest. i repeated my instructions again out load and said "give that to dada". upon hearing that, andy came around the corner to find august with something in his hand, but he couldn't tell what. before anything could register, he looked up at me for clarification and i think it was the huge smile on my face that made him realize what it was in august's hand. his eyes went big and started to glisten, then both of us - without words - just embraced. august came between our legs and wrapped his arms around both. we laughed and looked down at our little boy and my small belly that held our tiny second within. 

we didn't drink the wine that night; for the last six months its sat on a shelf in the kitchen with a note wrapped around it. in five weeks (give or take (hopefully "take")), it will be opened in celebration of our new arrival, making that bottle of table wine the finest i will have ever tasted. 

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